2012 January 29 Sunday
Our Flawed Selves, Men And Women

In a thread on Heartiste's site someone asks how men with a clear understanding of female nature could possibly love women.

Given that girls are as described in this post and this blog–and they are–how can anyone possibly still love them? This is what I don’t understand about this place. Yes, it’s totally right about women, but then somehow I’m still supposed to be able to love them after knowing these things? The right attitude is that of the Muslims, keep them locked up.

"So, do the Zonk" comes back with the best response.

Women have glaring defects. Men have glaring defects. They just are not the same defects. They all arise from the sex drive, which is very deeply hardwired. And the best women like the best men have some understanding of themselves and try to rise above it and act decently, even though they fail some or most of the time. That is simply the tragic reality of being human, and the heroism of trying to make the most of it. Understanding yourself and understanding other people helps you be realistic about them. Then, you can love them knowing that they are far from perfect, just poor, stupid, weak, fouled up human beings. The Muslims are wrong. Freedom and realism are the best way. Our ancestors knew this. They were realists about human beings. The Biblical depiction of human sinfulness is highly consistent with the modern science shown on this site. Realism about male and female sexuality is embedded in traditional thinking and practice. Delusion about sexuality, mostly arising from Feminism, is the problem. Love is possible, but love requires reality.

I don't think generalized contempt or anger between the sexes is useful or justified. Rather, I think we can adjust to the lousier consequences of the sexual revolution by becoming more realistic and accept the implications of scientific research into sexuality. Understand each others' evolutionarily programmed strategies for love and sex and just do a whole lot better job of pushing each others' buttons.

Share |      By Randall Parker at 2012 January 29 07:46 PM  Human Nature Sexual Differences


Comments
solaris said at January 29, 2012 10:38 PM:

>"Given that girls are as described in this post and this blog–and they are–how can anyone possibly still love them?"

The typical "game boy" seems to be just this sort of disillusioned romantic, a guy who once had an absurdly high opinion of women and who now, having discovered that they are actually flawed, rebounds to the opposite position - that all women are scum and unworthy of his love.

The cure for this is called growing up.

Lono said at January 30, 2012 10:49 AM:

Solaris,

Certainly there is some truth to that - however it is pretty clear to me that men and women are just not very compatible. It will be interesting to see what happens when real, sustainable, alternatives become possible.

(I'm not anti-marriage at all - I have a very pleasant one myself - it is just that living with a Human female requires compromises unfortunately)

solaris said at January 30, 2012 2:30 PM:

Living with another person requires compromises. Living with a pet requires compromises. Living in any sort of society requires compromises. Working in a business and dealing with customers requires compromises. Working in a business and dealing with your fellow workers requires compromises. Interacting in any fashion with other people (and even semi-intelligent non-humans) requires compromises.

>"It will be interesting to see what happens when real, sustainable, alternatives become possible."

No "real, sustainable, alternative" is possible which will not require compromises. Learning to think of people other than yourself (aka "compromising") is a necessary part of being an intelligent adult human. There's no technological way around that reality. If you could somehow create children without needing a woman, then you'd still find that you needed to compromise with those children.

Lono said at January 31, 2012 8:43 AM:

Potatoes, potahtoes...

Solaris - feel free to enjoy your flesh women - while I will enjoy the sublime company of my impossibly symmetrical and utterly subservient artificial companion(s).

:)

We will see who will get more sucessfully accomplished at the end of the day.


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