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2010 September 18 Saturday
Christine O'Donnell: Bad Or Good Witch?

Tea Party victor in the Republican primary for a Delaware Senate seat, Christine O'Donnell, opposes masturbation while admitting to merely dabbling in witchcraft.

She has been introduced to the country through a dribble of unearthed video footage of her comments on Christian morality. In one widely circulated clip from a 1996 MTV documentary, she decried masturbation on religious grounds. In another previously unreleased clip from 1999, she laughingly told a television audience that she'd once "dabbled into witchcraft" and unknowingly had a picnic on what she called a Satanic altar.

I think there's a lot more going on here than meets the eye. Read more closely.

"I dabbled into witchcraft -- I never joined a coven. But I did, I did. ... I dabbled into witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I'm not making this stuff up. I know what they told me they do. . . . "

"One of my first dates with a witch was on a Satanic altar, and I didn't know it. I mean, there's little blood there and stuff like that. ... We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a Satanic altar."

Here's what I'm thinking: Even though she didn't know she was picnicking on a Satanic altar, by eating food (sex too?) on that altar she became a tool for Satan and remains one to this day. Yes, that's it. Why this means the people in Delaware should elect her: Once she's in the Senate we can watch her every move as a way to figure out what Satan really wants. If she allies with Barack Obama that'll be the proof we need that Barack is really a Satanist, not a Muslim. If she opposes Barack then that's a lot more tricky to figure out.

But I could be unfair here. Andrew Stuttaford uses a picture to link Christine to Willow the witch from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Could it be that Christine is really a good witch and she's angling to get into the Senate because a Vampire Coven has formed near the top of the US government? Was she on that Satanic altar really in order to fight the forces of evil? Did she save civilization that night? Do we all owe her our lives? Is she really a Slayer?

Also, and I think this is important: Christine opposes masturbation. She probably knows that masturbation depletes magic powers and she's calling out to all the good witches to build up their powers and rally to her lead when she takes on the conspirators who are trying to open the Hellmouth underneath Washington DC. This is just like Sunnyvale.

Some people think that O'Donnell isn't competent to serve as Senator from Delaware. But Joe Biden served in that role for many years. I think the bar for that job is pretty low.

O'Donnell on witchcraft in 1999.

Share |      By Randall Parker at 2010 September 18 08:46 PM  Politics Absurdity


Comments
dchamil said at September 19, 2010 6:40 AM:

O'Donnell a witch? Well, she won the election -- as if by magic! Ah, now I understand!

James Bowery said at September 19, 2010 7:34 AM:

All this talk of Liberty is a smoke screen. Witches are going for reparations.

Wait a second... isn't Liberty for Libertines?

miles said at September 19, 2010 9:46 AM:

Damn.

She will not be able to surmount that if its seen, and the Democrats will make sure that it is seen.


We had a chance to pick up another vote here, because I think Coons is beatable. The Democrats have a long history of supporting nutty candidates: Cynthia McKinney, Maxine Waters, Jesse Jackson, Jr. Robert KKK Byrd, Ted Kennedy (read a biography of him--his drunken exploits are legendary), James Traficant and his wigs, Bernie Sanders (a member of the Socialist Party), Barney Frank (a guy whose gay lover ran a homosexual prostitution ring out of his basement), and many "lesser" crazies like Pelosi, Dashle, Reid, Boxer, Martinez, Rangel, etc.


I see a chance here to get a Senatorial vote that will be a further restraint on the more radicalized lame-duck Obama (Obama wore a Farrahkan-black-bow-tie the other night when speaking to a black group) between 2010 and 2012.


If O'Donnell knew that there was footage like that which could be used against her, she should have urged another Tea-Partier to run instead. That witchcraft stuff would even turn any evangelical base she could have trumped-up in Vermont. Its a shame, because she represents the GOP establishment not getting what they want and the party being wrested away from them. They immediately announced that they weren't going to support her financially, and Karl Rove sandbagged her on FoxNews right after she won the election.

Barbara Murkowski of Alaska is the establishment Republican annoying me the most. She lost the primary to a Tea-Party-backed-candidate, and she immediately decided to run as a write-in candidate (no chance of a win there) obviously just to make sure the Tea Party candidate loses. I wonder if the GOP funding machine will give her money instead of him? I wouldn't be suprised.

Mercer said at September 19, 2010 1:37 PM:

Something puzzles me about her more then the witchcraft. She says she is for "family values". She is also over forty and has never married. I could understand that if she was ugly or wealthy she could have trouble finding suitable husband material. Neither condition applies to her. She is a attractive woman. For someone age 41 I think she is a knockout. She is also broke. She has had little income for years and defaulted on a mortgage two years ago. How many pretty women live in poverty as a single woman rather then get a husband to support them? For someone who talks about family values it is stranger to me then talk of witchcraft.

Randall Parker said at September 19, 2010 3:10 PM:

Mercer,

Yes, I am puzzled by this as well. She's definitely an odd duck. Could have married a conservative and made lots of babies by now. I think we do not yet know enough about her. Maybe she's got no sex drive and is more non-sexual. There are people like that. Low sex drive. Hetero but low sexual attraction to other sex.

Mercer said at September 19, 2010 4:16 PM:

Randall,

It is more then low sex drive. That is not unheard of for women. It is also no desire for children, no desire for male companionship, no desire for a fancy wedding, no desire for a good house and no desire for other material goods. Only nuns choose to live like that.

The Amazing Faust said at September 19, 2010 4:57 PM:

She's gay.

sg said at September 21, 2010 7:49 PM:

"She's gay."

LOL

I love it. Too funny!

ananair said at September 27, 2010 9:04 AM:

Lots of contradictions in this woman
Goes to church "functions" but admits she's a witch. What churches? What was practised in those functions?
Says gays are abnormal but has a lesbian sister, lesbians are not gays? Opposes masturbation, is a woman, 41, single, "only nuns are like that" certainly doesn't look like a nun
Defaulted on her mortage, used campaign funds for personal expenses, what's her occupation? how does she earn a living?


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