2009 July 23 Thursday
Chinese Take Over The Onion

The writers at The Onion show that they understand the new era emerging of Chinese global domination in the 21st century. It all started with an article entitled Well, I've Sold The Paper To The Chinese. Good move that. After all, the Chinese have the trained censors needed to create a more socially constructive publication. The effects are immediately apparent with stories like: EARTH—The entire world population confirmed Friday that Houston Rockets center Yao Ming is the greatest athlete in the history of sports and a glowing symbol of what citizens may become if they remain loyal to their government.

The magazine is helping people move down an intellectual pathway we are all going to have to trod sooner or later. Grab that finger of blame and point it in more appropriate directions. Start with this one:Toddler Chokes To Death On Plastic Taiwanese-Made Toy.

I also like the embrace of traditional values and pragmatic practicality (or is that practical pragmatism) in stories like Police Still Searching For Missing Productive, Obedient Woman. What to do if she doesn't turn up? Find another one of course. But the problem is women like her are far too uncommon in America. Instead bad parents raise kids like this brat: American Children Like Me Are Lazy And Insolent And Must Try Harder. Hear his pleas. He wants to be socially regimented into a good sweat shop worker.

Here's a story that decadent Western environmentalists need to read: Clear American Sky A Constant Reminder Of Industrial Inferiority.

I like The New Onion. Or should we call it The Red Onion?

Share |      By Randall Parker at 2009 July 23 09:27 PM  Off Beat And Odd

miles said at July 24, 2009 4:55 PM:

Took a look at the Onion's Chinese-thing. Hysterical.

Note: If the Chinese bought out our nation's newspapers and television news, the propaganda could hardly be less damaging to the country than the leftist propaganda than we get from those sources anyay. Plus, I'd love to see unemployed left-wing "journalists" be unemployed.

My all time fave Onion piece: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_are_reality_shows

Randall Parker said at July 24, 2009 6:39 PM:


Journalists (who, yes, are almost all left-leaning) are already getting laid off in droves. Even the New York Times is threatened with eventual bankruptcy.

Craig's List is eating away at classified ads revenue. People are reading online rather than subscribing. People are paying less attention to ads and using shopping search engines and other online ways to find products. Newspapers are in big trouble and many cities are losing their only remaining newspaper.

Engineer-Poet said at July 24, 2009 8:56 PM:

My home-town newspaper published its final print edition yesterday.  174 years, through wars, censors and the Great Depression, and it's slain by lackadaisical reading habits on the bottom and the Internet on the top.  I suppose that serves its owners right, for retaining a movie critic which most people loved to hate—but I doubt the results would have been different even if they hadn't.

These days I pick up newspapers mostly for the puzzles.  I get a local news rag in the mail once a week, which I find very useful for the information on law-enforcement actions.  Will these still be going concerns a few years from now?  Good question.

miles said at July 25, 2009 7:07 AM:


I would -love- to take a daily paper. I used to read the Nashville Banner, which was "center-right". The Banner's owners, Peaches and Irby Simpkins sold the Banner to the Gannett-owned TENNESSEAN newspaper. The TENNESSEAN is a reliably leftist-establishment newspaper that has been for every ridiculous left-wing idea that has come down the pike, on both local and national issues. The TENNESSEAN'S coverage of the Clinton/Bush the Elder's election in 92' was biased beyond belief in just the aspects of photo-journalism ALONE (it was a joke around town that all summer long there would be pictures of Bush looking like he just bit a lemon beside a picture of Clinton grinning from ear to ear, almost every single day).

The TENNESSEAN first bought, and then cut the Banner back so much in size and content, that it wasn't really worth reading. They also "lefticized" the editorial page. They still couldn't really kill it, as it was still selling fairly well, so they just pulled the plug on it by incorporationg a few of its sports/lifestyle writers (Joe Biddle, the "I think" deceased Tim Ghihani and Fred Russell) into the TENNESSEAN and announced that the two papers would "merge" under the TENNSSEAN name.

Peaches Simpkin's greed was why the Banner was sold in my opinion. She only married Irby back then for the money, and she was notoriously unlikeable, and she was a long-time Democrat. I imagine the sale funded their retirement and her lifestyle. I'd be suprised if either is still alive after all these years (mid-90's sale).

I actually witnessed the same thing happen to a once-very popular "free" daily paper in our city called, THE CITY PAPER, edited by one Matt Pulle in the mid-late 90s to about 2000. We have a free, Village-Voice clone paper called the Nashville Scene that is so SWPL (and dishonest) that its ridiculous. I mean UBER-SWPL, even in real estate ******(astonishing story on that). Well, THE CITY PAPER comes out of nowhere, and people start picking it up. If you passed the free racks, you began to notice that the CITY PAPER was dissapearing as people were reading it, and leaving the larger Scene in the bin. The CP got fairly popular, and it was "center-right". The TENNESSEAN bought it out, and diluted it just like it did with the Banner. Pulle ended up getting a gig at the SCENE for a while (he's gone, dont know where), and the CITY PAPER got less popular (dilution/shrinkage to the point that it wasn't worth reading) and was shut down. Now we have the SCENE alone, but hardly anybody reads it anymore (internet). The only reason most young people picked up the Scene was info about what bars and clubs were "happening", resturaunt reviews of every trendy little place that openened in the swpl-Vanderbilt area, and movie reviews of obscure (but sometimes quite good) movies showing at the two venues that will show "arty"/foreign/old movies in our area. The rest of the Scene is generally cheerleading whatever local/national leftist persona or cause. The Scene had a big singles section in the early 90's, but the internet (of course) killed that.

In short, with "big money" backing (The Gannett Syndicate for one), left-wing papers were able to buy right wing papers and shut them down or dilute them. I deeply suspect this has happened all across America pretty much as it has happened here.

*******About the Nasvhille Scene and real estate. I noticed through the ninties the Scene begam to literally pump the wonders of living "downtown" or near downtown, especially around an old railroad bed called "The Gulch" (look it up). A few condos were developed there, and some bars went in, with mucho free pub from the Scene. In the late 90s' the Scene went bezerk when some ratty old apartments (Andrew Jackson) on West End (PRIME real estate here) were going to be torn down and a Walgreens put in. The Scene threw a hissy fit about this for a few YEARS. It had a "campaign" called "Save the Jack". These were some of the last "affordable" apartments to be had downtown, all to be torn down for a Walgreens, right? Wrong. What the Nashville Scene had to be bottle-opened to admit was that a large-upscale rival condo development (high rise) was going up right behind the Walgreens, and this is what they were really fighting. It "threatened" the Gulch (the Gulch is located too close to some dangerous public housing for my taste, literally less than one mile, and about the same distance from a big homeless shelter, a big porno store, and some strip joints). Well the Nashville Scene and the swpls lost this round and these new condos got built and they sapped quite a bit of much-needed-demand from the Gulch. The Gulch has done alright, but there is space for a few more mid-rise condos there. I deeply, I mean deeply suspect much of the Scene's editorial staff had financially bought into the Gulch area as investors. They fight every new development for upper-middle-to-upscale rents and condos in the mid-town area, and praise the Gulch endlessly. They are fighting the new "MayTown" development five miles from downtown Nashville (a "second city" ----read safer than downtown, with less traffic) with all their might. There is a story for an investigative journalist here, but it will never be uncovered. To the "Scenesters", if you dont live in the Hillsboro Village/Gulch/ Mid-town area of "Gnashville" (or the flat-out unsafe East Nashville area), you are hopelessly square. I'll take my little paid off 3-bedroom house and yard in the burbs over paying 3 times as much for the same down there any day of the week.

Parting shot: Craigslist and web-sites like it really "democratize" the media just like leftists of yore -claimed- they would have liked. Now that lefists have become the establishment in "journalism", they hate it. Im not going to subsizide left-wing propaganda, therefore like many others, one of us buys the paper and the rest of us gets a look at it. The TENNESSEAN is a joke at this point. I hope it goes down. We have some good local TV news in this area anyway. The lefty's will never admit that -they- are what killed the newspapers. Their favorite "new" Americans hardly read the paper, and the Americans they despise used to read the papers but couldn't stomach reading propaganda and were chased elsewhere by their desire to be informed truthfully. That is "it" in a sentence.

Jerry Martinson said at July 25, 2009 2:39 PM:

There's going to be a major void left behind by the demise of the regional newspaper. They were a vital part of our democracy and an important way to limit the inevitable corruption that inevitably infests all local governments (both in the US and elsewhere) to a truly disgusting level.

What's going to fill that void? In some states like California there's a civil grand jury system that can investigate corruption to some degree. Indeed the California newspapers going through the death throws have often relied a lot on civil grand jury reports rather than Woodward/Bernstein-style investigative journalism. The press always had some watchdog issues in being primarily for entertainment and not having legal subpoena capability (there's nothing like getting the mayor/sheriff/zoning_dude to testify under penalty of PERJURY). I think we need to strengthen these sorts of mechanisms by making them more prevalent, giving them greater legal teeth, broadening their coverage to state/business issues, and giving them the capability of doing more flexible oversight work.

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