2003 May 11 Sunday
Klingon Translator Needed For Oregon Mental Health Workers

There are mental patients in Oregon who refuse to speak in any other language besides Klingon.

The language created for the "Star Trek" TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County.

What do these mental patients have against Vulcan and Romulan? Why does Klingon get the special treatment? The Vulcans have done far more for humanity and their writings have much greater scientific and technical value.

My guess is that this problem is a result of naturally combative Klingon personality types. The native Vulcan and Romulan speakers are less belligerent and more willing to learn and speak the language of wherever they happen to be living. But the Klingon speakers have an obvious attitude problem.

Share |      By Randall Parker at 2003 May 11 12:21 PM  Off Beat And Odd

Invisible Scientist said at May 12, 2003 5:36 AM:


You wrote in your comments that: "Why does Klingon get the special treatment? The Vulcans have done far more for humanity and their writings have much greater scientific and technical value."

I disagree with the last sentence. During the last
Gulf War, the Klingon war technology greatly
benefited the Coalition victory. For instance,
the B-2 stealth bomber seems to be inspired by
the Klingon Preybird, with its cloaking device, and
angular wings. The Federation never had such
cloaking devices, and only with the occasional
participation of the Klingon Empire, has the
Federation managed to stop the expansion of the Borg
Empire. Otherwise, we would have been converted to
a collective religious way of life... In a manner
of speaking...

Patrick said at May 14, 2003 9:43 PM:

So those complete nerds who did a masters degree in Klingon, can actually get a real job applying their knowledge?

Wonders will never cease.

Malcolm North said at June 25, 2003 7:47 AM:

How will the mental hospital be able to distinguish between the patients and the translators?

Will said at September 26, 2003 10:33 AM:

is this a joke? masters degree in klingon? And i thought media studies was the lamest degree!

Chad said at January 21, 2004 10:47 AM:

I will never understand how some people would actually take the time to learn the klingon language, last I checked Klingons were either A) A ficticious character on Star Trek, or
B) Those little balls of crap that hang on your butt-hairs after not wiping properly...
And some colleges actually offer courses in this language? I mean what the hell, don't people have anything better to do? Like learn proper English, all these people need to get a real life or a girlfriend, because they are all on Crack....lots and lots of crack.
Losers are you all.
Bite me
The only way I would ever learn Klingon is if somone paid me 50 bucks an hour to translate what some wacked out cracked out wackjob is saying.

Holly said at January 24, 2004 3:07 PM:

Chad, you can suck it. Just because you're to dense to understand the depth of the series and movies that sprung from the original Star Trek doesn't mean you have to bash the people who are smarter than you. And we are no more likely to be on crack than anyone else. Also, what you should be asking yourself is not "don't these people have anything better to do than sit around learning a synthetic language," but rather, "what is it about this language/Star Trek that makes people care enough to learn?" No one gave a shit about the "Universal Language" but people are more than happy to learn a language that presumably has no use in aquiring material gains. So why don't you go back to practicing how to wipe your ass properly, and we'll go back to trying to expand our horizens.

Lord DavoMan said at March 7, 2004 4:22 AM:

I hate pedantic intellectuals. I'm a big fat Star Trek nerd and concider it creative and intelegent. What I dont concider creative & intelegent is pratts going "I disagree with the last sentence. During the last
Gulf War, the Klingon war technology greatly
benefited the Coalition victory. "

What the hell is wrong with you? You are as bad as the f&&ken people in the mental hospital who only speak klingon.
The next person I see in a Star Fleet uniform debating the finer points of Romulan and Vulcan differences, I'm gonna punch in the guts.

Phil said at May 12, 2004 3:53 AM:

Jesus christ it's a TV show, just remember a TV show and some films, not the key to the known universe. *cough*nerd*cough*

Authur Dent said at October 22, 2004 1:57 PM:


worf said at November 7, 2004 11:55 AM:

how dare you dishonar the klingon culture!ď 'Iv DichDaq roll DoH the nagh
vo' the lojmIt vo' the tomb vaD

scott ian said at November 7, 2004 11:56 AM:

TIM IS A LOP................

Bleach said at February 1, 2005 6:57 PM:

So what is star trek anyways?

Anthony, Who Hates Klingon and Star Trek Haters said at February 16, 2005 6:04 PM:

ok, 1st off, i was disgusted by Bleach. Wat is Star Trek??? Wdf is rong with u? Omg. Neway, 2nd, Chad, u got issues. You are a major embarassment to, and waste of, human. So just, (as the Klingons say), bIjatlh 'e' yImev! (That's: Shut up). Holly, that last sentence u sed was awsomely funny. "So why don't you go back to practicing how to wipe your ass properly, and we'll go back to trying to expand our horizens." Hilarious. Chad, I say the same. If you can't wipe ur ass properly, perhaps u shuld try some alien culture urself, wer they dunno how to wipe ther asses? Dunno, well, bye every1.


connor said at February 20, 2005 1:25 PM:

how come you can't get an internet translator its much easier

Aldous Huxley said at March 31, 2005 12:31 AM:

I like star wars too, and I think everyone should learn to speak Wookie.
Wookie language is very important and we should all learn, if we choose to ingnore this important fact then we will fail as a race. So I say "Grrawlawla, rrr, Rrrr, wroo"
that means "I could care less about retartds in mental institutions using up my tax money or idiots who make up lame stories to get feedback". "Grruwoo"

Unknown said at April 7, 2005 10:24 AM:

Star Trek is exactly what this cynical, capitalistic world needs. We might as well all kill ourselves now if we have nothing to hope for, no better future to strive for.

KANG said at May 4, 2005 7:15 PM:


Admiral Tearstar, USS Penilord said at May 18, 2005 10:31 PM:

I think it's funny that comments

"I will never understand how some people would actually take the time to learn the klingon language, last I checked Klingons were either A) A ficticious character on Star Trek, or
B) Those little balls of crap that hang on your butt-hairs after not wiping properly...
And some colleges actually offer courses in this language? I mean what the hell, don't people have anything better to do? Like learn proper English, all these people need to get a real life or a girlfriend, because they are all on Crack....lots and lots of crack.
Losers are you all.
Bite me
The only way I would ever learn Klingon is if somone paid me 50 bucks an hour to translate what some wacked out cracked out wackjob is saying.

Posted by: Chad on January 21, 2004 10:47 AM shows me that he himself has no life. When one finds their life so lacking that they must talk about "balls of crap" and "butt-hairs" in my educated experience, shows the lack of "getting out and seeing life"

Also the comment about "learning proper English . . . ." ok, let's break this down . . . to the best of my ability :

I will never understand(semi-colon missing) how some people would actually take the time to learn the klingon language,(should be a period and two spaces here instead of a comma) l(should be capitalized)ast I checked(comma missing) Klingons were either(colon missing)
A) A ficticious character on Star Trek, or(comma and or not to be included here when in a alpha listing)
B) Those little balls of crap(semi colon gone) that hang on your butt-hairs (another semi-colon not here)after not wiping properly...(should be a period and not an elipse, even though; an elipse should have a space before it and inbetween each period)
(should be a new sentance, not begin with "and" and at least he capitalized "and" which sould only happen when it starts a new sentance, which he did not do.)And some colleges actually offer courses in this language? I mean what the hell, (should be a period with 2 spaces and a capital Don't) don't people have anything better to do? (Is this supposed to be a new sentance? If he wanted to start a new one, he should not have started it with Like) Like learn proper English, (another "supposed to be sentance end" missing a period) all(needs capitalized) these people need to get a real life or a girlfriend, because they are all on Crack....(wow, I have never seen a four period elipse) lots and lots (a bit redundent) of crack.

In conclusion; I think someone needs to go back to school and learn there 4th grade English.

This is just my two cents worth.
Losers are you all.
Bite me
The only way I would ever learn Klingon is if somone paid me 50 bucks an hour to translate what some wacked out cracked out wackjob is saying.

Admiral Tearstar, USS Penilord said at May 18, 2005 10:37 PM:

It appears I missed some on my last post.

Losers are you all. (This is just all mixed up)
Bite me (a exclamatory command without the exclamation point)
The only way I would ever learn Klingon is(Does he have something against commas?) if somone paid me 50 bucks an(should be the word per) hour to translate what some wacked out(he's killing more commas than Kirk killed lines) cracked out(yet another comma MIA) wackjob is saying.
Die (and still another command missing and exclamation point)


Star Wars said at May 20, 2005 12:10 PM:

Star Trek Sucks!!! All hail Star Wars, Forever and Always!!! Lucas is God of all.

T. Barry Armstrong said at May 29, 2005 5:04 PM:

Well, it appears you think gramatically challenged errors are more important than the fact that you guys are ALL looooosers. (!)
yes, I know what I been sayin'
You don't need to correct me you freakin' losers!

YODA: "Quote Star Wars losers will"
Spock: "Live long, and get a life"
Dr. Who: "Where's my blooming tea?"
Arthur Dent: "I'm really sorry that movie sucked."

Jeffrey Blackwell said at May 31, 2005 11:13 AM:

After reading all of these comments, the only one who makes any sense, is Admiral Tearstar. It is obvious that this Chad person has some issues, but so does everyone. Yes, I am a Star Trek Fan, but let me inform those who do not understand why a person would learn Klingon and why it is taught at certain Universities.

People, who learn Klingon, learn it because Star Trek is an International Icon and is the embodiment of World Peace and Harmony. It is also something for people to watch and escape into, when this world gets to bad to deal with. Star Trek is also a Television show. Granted, sometimes a HANDFUL of people take it too far, and think it is real and it becomes their reality, hence the person's in Oregon with Mental Challenges. Most likely these patients are victims of Schizophrenia, which can cause altered reality states, as well as hearing voices, and other attributes, that could lead one to believe he or she are a Klingon, and therefore they speak it. [Just for clarification, Schizophrenia is not the same as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), and there are 6 different types of Schizophrenia. Get smart, get educated about mental illness {www.nami.org}.

As for certain Universities teaching the Klingon Language, this is due to the fact that the man who created a "language" for Klingons, to speak in their native tongue, on a Star Trek movie or Television Episode, eventually created so much of it, that it began to form its own grammar, syntax, nouns, pronouns, everything all languages have for the base of communication. It finally was so extensive, it /was/ a real language. This man, who is a linguist by trade, was asked by Paramount Pictures to start this Project back in 1978, when the filming of Star Trek: The Movie was being filmed. Since then it has grown into a real language, and become a part of human culture as much as, if not more, than Star Trek itself. This man, even today, continues to expand upon this language, creating more verbal syntax, structure, and dialect. Therefore, some of the more expensive colleges [I want to say Stanford teaches it, but do not quote me], have started teaching it, as a second language course. You must admit, if certain, or who knows, all of the Ivy League schools teach Klingon, as a real course, there has to be something to it.

The moral of all of this is everyone has the right to like what they like. If you like Star Trek, Star Wars, or "picking feces-balls off your anus follicles", then who cares, and why do you have the right to judge another person? No one is without their own faults, but no one has the right to judge anyone else. I implore you not to respond with the response of "So you think we shouldn't have a judicial system?" I am speaking of one person or a group of people, judging another.

Finally, I can never understand why so many people think they have to respond to one person's personal ignorance. I hardly every post on these type of things, but I am tired of the world being uneducated. My post is simply for that reason, to educate those who are ignorant about certain things.

Have a nice day.

Here Is Waldo said at May 31, 2005 6:19 PM:

Are you all kidding me? Did you see the subject of the thread? Sure, there is some tension between Star Wars and Star Trek fans, and yes, most people don't spell check their posts. Don't you remember a time when the "nerds" stuck together with the same dream that perhaps the world would be a better, more exciting place in the future? To recoin a phrase: Can't we all jsut get along?

Tod Mc. Gergowickz said at June 1, 2005 4:23 PM:

Jeffrey said:
"I hardly every post on these type of things"

-Hey, is that a sentence? For someone who hates an uneducated world you sure blew it!
(you almost won me over)

Here is waldo said:
"are you all kidding me?

-Hey waldo, did you ever consider that it may be one person making multiple posts, then responding to them in anger to get a rise? (And if so, am I you and are you me?)

T. Barry armstrong said:
"You don't need to correct me you freakin' losers!"

-Hey, "T" must stand for turd bag right? No one will ever try to correct someone who uses one letter for their first name. (Or try to insult them for that matter)

And as for me, well, let's just say I'll think twice before hitting the net to do research for my next Sci Fi novel. I can hardly believe I responded to this dead air.

I give up,

(see Barry?, a whole name!)

Jason said at July 14, 2005 4:20 PM:

There are many reasons why learning a fictional language is ridiculous. The most obvious reason: THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE. People who devote themselves to Star Trek as a lifestyle, never found anything better to live for. Their lives are devoid of true meaning, so they fill it with Star Trek. Some people devote their lives to saving trees. Some devote their lives to saving other human beings. Being a "Trekkie" is just another form of devoting your life to something. Only this one doesn't make any significant impact other than increasing T-shirt and toy action figure sales.

From what I have seen "Trekkies" are never achievers. They are content to let they life pass by while devoting it to a completely fictional world. Step into reality and make an impact on the world. I know that some will say that "Star Trek embodies principles and a way of life that the world should follow." Well so do a lot of other fictional stories. Do you think that the world is going to change because you are wearing a Star Trek uniform or putting Klingon make-up on your face? To those of you that answer yes to that question, your new translator will be with you in Oregon soon.

Bottom line: It's fiction, it's fun, and it doesn't make an impact.

Tiffany said at July 18, 2005 5:40 AM:

I say, "To each his or her own opinion, and let it not infringe on the rights of others." Well, it is clear that the thoughts presented here are strong, and they have a right to be. But when it gets to the point that you have to put another person's ideas and beliefs down to get your point across, that makes you a bully. Stop bullying others and focus on healing your "self", because you don't have to stand on others to feel tall.

Jason said at July 18, 2005 2:56 PM:

I'm not bullying anyone. Just giving them a Vulcan neck grip.

Kyle said at July 18, 2005 4:23 PM:

I think Jason is a total bully. It is almost as if he has a Spock-like lack of emotion. He reminds me of the Maytag repair man. Just because life has passed him by while he has been "busy" sitting behind a desk (or possibly sitting in traffic on the way to his next sales call), he feels the need to make others miserable too.

This is a warning to you Jason: Stop making other people miserable. Instead, hook your friends up with your hot younger sisters and live vicariously through them.

frank1547 said at July 21, 2005 12:47 PM:

MY LOSER BROTHER IS 39 AND HAS NOT HELD A JOB IN 15 YEARS. HE IS Totally depressed but still manages to wake up long enough to watch his fricken nightly episode.. Sometimes two of them. Then, even though he can't help go to the store and buy food, he somehow manages to make the 8 hour bus trip to the Las Vegas star trek showcase every fricken year; last year he borrowed money from my mother to go there via greyhound. Gets there and stays two days, sleeps outside on a bench, then reenters the star trek museum the following day, comes home with a few crappy action figures and a dam t-shirt for his big fat welbutrin, anti-psychotic belly. Sheesh will you all get a life?
On a more positive note, it does make shopping easier cause all i do is buy him DVDís of star trek episodes from eBay and the .99 cent store. And yes he speaks that kling-wrap language.

Tiffany said at August 5, 2005 6:58 AM:

The very thought of one person telling everyone that has posted here that "they need JESUS" is a cultic outrage. I like Jesus, it is his fanclub that I cant stand! I feel sorry for your brother; but if you are so "into" Jesus, instead of telling others to "stab a fork into themselves", you should be giving your brother love and support. If it bothers you so much that he is a "loser", then help him to become a more productive member of society. Maybe the way he is right now is JESUS's way of keeping him from going out and bashing old ladies in the head for their social security checks. Please don't use the guise of religion to bully others. That is what fanatics and sociopaths do. Everyone here has stated a point in their own minds, and it is presumptuous of you to state that "your" thoughts of salvation are the ultimate cure-all.

FYI: Did it ever occur to you that others might be offended that you have insulted their religions, because I am quite sure that Star Trek and Star Wars fans alike are world-wide and multi-cultural, observing various religions.

Randall Parker said at August 5, 2005 8:29 AM:


What exactly is a cultic outrage? I doubt that you are really outraged. I think you are just pretending.

I see nothing wrong with insulting the religions of other people. Religious beliefs cause problems for the rest of us. I see no reason why believer should enjoy some special immunity from criticism. Ditto for believers in ideologies.

Vegeta said at August 5, 2005 10:33 AM:

today IS a good day to die.....or , DaHjaj 'oH QaQ jaj Daq Hegh

Klingon High Master of Kickass said at August 10, 2005 12:37 AM:

To the unbelievers I say "RapHa' GandarraHa Daq" or in English "You suck the sweat off of dead mens balls".

Tiffany said at August 12, 2005 12:44 PM:

As for questioning my feelings in the matter, that is your opinion; what you think and what I know are two totally diffetent things. As for "cultic" outrage, I was stating that imposing your beliefs on another is the way of fanatics and cult leaders, hence "cultic". Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but there is a way to get your opinion across without being insulting and degrading. Problems arise when people want to be right at any cost, infringing on the rights of others. Besides, the statement that was made was outrageous. I keep a cool head for it is the cooler head that prevails.

BTW: LONG LIVE STAR TREK! (and I am a productive citizen)

Randall Parker said at August 12, 2005 1:02 PM:


Telling someone they need something is not the imposition of beliefs. That person has no way to force you to do anything. Again, I am sure you know that and your faux outrage is just a pose.

Your rights have not been infringed by anyone who has posted here. You are just whining without justification.

Tiffany said at August 13, 2005 1:29 PM:

Maybe you are not comprehending. I never said that I was outraged, but instead stated that the statement was outrageous. You have it in your mind to label me as not sincere in being outraged: I never once stated that I was outraged; that was YOUR opinion, your take on my statement. To say that something is outrageous and to actually be outraged are two totally different things. As for whining, I'll leave that to you. I don't whine, I simply stated what was on my mind in response to a statement, as I am doing now. As for my rights, I know that my rights have not been infringed upon. Once again, it is your perception that I think my rights have been infringed. My perception of you right now is that you are overanalyzing statements made to propagate arguements. But like I said earier, everyone is entitled to their own opinion as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. I am sure that you know you and your FAUX analyzations are unfounded.


Randall Parker said at August 13, 2005 1:41 PM:


I am impressed. You find a statement outrageous but do not feel outrage. What emotional discipline you have. Either that or you just don't feel much emotionally in response to perceived aggression?

So then is it that the other person is being outrageous? Then are they engaging in an act of violence? Or are they insulting you? If so, do you at least feel insulted by the statement? Or is that you feel the statement offends you sense of decency, morality, or good taste?

I gotta say, I wasn't insulted by the other poster's statement and I didn't feel insulted by it or offended by it. So I don't see how it meets the criteria for being outrageous.

Tiffany said at August 13, 2005 2:39 PM:

So good of you to notice that I have control over my emotions. It comes from being empathetic. I did not perceive aggression; it seemed to me that someone, in his despair, lashed out at others and their beliefs. That is where I perceived an outrageous statement. I simply chose to speak up. Besides, being who I am and being exposed to so much in life, it is more appropriate for me to have a handle on my emotions. As for you sir, I am not surprised that you were not offended, but there may have been some who were. I saw the statement as being outrageous in it's irony. How could he say that everyone here needs JESUS, then in the same breath tell everyone to stab themselves with a fork? I do believe David Koresh and Jim Jones did something along the same lines. You were correct in saying that telling someone that they need something is not imposing their beliefs. That statement he made, however, insulted himself. So my empathy goes out to him. As for myself, I am planning on throwing a Star Trek back-to-class Bash. I have quite a few friends who are productive members of society, and speak fluent Klingnon.

BTW: I must admit, you are a very intelligent person. I enjoy your rebuttles.

Randall Parker said at August 13, 2005 4:11 PM:


So then you acting really noble and trying to defend others against insults from Frank1547. But Frank is being funny. Ask Jesus into your heart and then stab yourself? I guess the idea is to take Jesus with you when you go.

I think people have become entirely too sensitive. I detest the whole sensitive society trend. It leads to crap like the banning of old cartoons that had Speedy Gonzales in them because they supposedly insulted Mexicans - even though lots of Mexicans liked the cartoons too. We end up with lots of blonde Nazis repeatedly and tiredly cast as the bad guys because to cast anyone besides a blonde male as a bad guy is argued to be racist or sexist. Aside from being stupid the attitude is incredibly condescending and also makes for worse art and drama.

As for pathetic Star Trek fans: There really are such people. William Shatner made fun of them in a Saturday Night Live skit. Remember the skit where the fans were arguing about how many horses Shatner owns? Tim Allen appeared in that funny Galaxy Quest movie that certainly showed a lot of the convention goer types as having messed up priorities. Though the movie did let those fan geeks help save the day.

Look, the whole Star Trek universe is retarded. It is so politically correct too (like you apparently). Give me Farscape or Blade Runner or some other rawer and more realistic science fiction. The saccharin Star Trek socialist utopian post-market future of liberal pieties where the merchants are little funny people with big ears is sterile and tired.

Tiffany said at August 13, 2005 6:56 PM:

Touche'! Well spoken. I am quite P.C., but I do have a sense of humor. If I didn't have a great sense of humor, I'd probably have quite a rotten temper (I liked the SNL skit and Galaxy Quest). It is a fine gray line, and I feel that the world has become DESENSITIZED to a lot of things. In this desensitization, people have become overly SENSITIVE to the wrong things. I make jokes about religion, politics and SHATNER (man, he killed a lot of lines!), but I remember to do it in a context to not be offensive. Of course, I can't please everyone all the time; that is not my goal, but merely to do my part. I miss Speedy, and Slo Poke Rodriguez! Keep in mind, the rampant desensitizing has lead to people now being overly sensitive. People are so involved in fantasy that they lose track of what's important: fixing the problems instead of acting like they don't exist, or indulging the problems. As long as I know the difference between reality and fantasy, right and wrong; I'm cool! I can only hope others realize this as well. Until then, I'll walk that fine gray line. Live long and try not to piss anyone off! Hahaha!!!!

jan Luq' pIqarD said at August 27, 2005 12:33 AM:

Tiffany = a racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, and an obeise potato. Her arguments are hollow and could go on for ever and she is the most rendundant racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, and potato i have ever seen. Whoever "good person" is has nailed every aspect of your horrible personage you have created and tried to mend with randall. And if you think each of these comments are wrong and false and not backed up then its redundant to say that. Almost every comment is pointless and leads to another argument. If you mrs. tiffany aka racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, and potato seem to think otherwise then it is by what you have said earlier that it is in your own opinion and my opinion so there is no need to say anything you racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, and potato. GOOD DAY

Tiffany said at August 27, 2005 9:58 AM:

The last two people are very funny! You would have to actually know me to make such statements, thus showing your immaturity in your comments. It is my understanding that a discussion has unlimited openings for rebuttles. Furthermore, I don't see how you can say that I tried to mend anything. Commenting on someone else when they make a point or intelligent observation is NOT mending. GOOD PERSON and JAN LUQ' PICARD, the two of you should go and try to figure out how to purge your inner demons, and stop spreading your pathetic propaganda. Bright blessings to the both of you, and may you find inner peace.

Good Person said at August 27, 2005 4:24 PM:

First of all we do know you. You are the world's most infamous racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, potato. In fact your crimes against sanity and humanity have contributed to over 99.998% of the world's evil. You call us uninformed when you yourself aren't sane enough to understand your vileness. Don't spread rumours or make up information about how we are the ones that don't know when you yourself didn't know of your own status as a racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, potato. Also please don't capitalize my name or jan's. I think that the capitalization was made on purpose to abide by the rules of English and Grabgor on purpose so please don't be hating player or you get a cap pop from my 45 gat. I am ashamed that people like you, who insult normal members of society like jan Luq' pIqarD and myself with words like demons, exist. You claim to make points and intelligent observations. Knives have boints and some nives are blunt and in Ruissian blunt is synonimous with dumb so you are just calling yourself possibly dumb. Furthermore you make observations such as an owl. Owls are not sentient thus you are half dumb in that respect also. FInally, let me teach you a bit of math. Sometimes dumb plus half dumb is equal to dumb. You must either be retarded or just trying to act like one, in which case you can go ahead and go speak Handgrab in Oregon with your exually insane friends. We are not immature. We just want to point out the flaws and hypocrisy in your reasoning andin exchange for human services you verbally abuse us. I find that beneath any person to do and you should be put to death for your disrespect of our opinions. Please stop bashing us you racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, potato. By the way, you are fat.

jan Luq' pIqarD said at September 2, 2005 11:34 AM:

I rock peaís on ma head, but donít call me a pea head.
i got bees on ma head, but donít call me a bee head.
bruce leeís on ma head, but donít call me a lee head.
now please excuse me,i gots to get ma tree fed.
i rock the brands and i make ma own clothing.
i hang out with an apple who loves self loathing.
pancake on ma face, makes me extra happy.
i like shampoo bottles that sit on ma lappy.
caus its me you canít tell me what to do.
when life hands me lemons,i make beef stew.
i know to go but its time for me to rock it.
i put beloni in ma left pocket.
smear some creme cheese in my gold locket.
then i punch her in the eye socket

Rage Agaist Ignorance said at September 3, 2005 8:59 AM:

Jan Luc Picard and Good Person are complete jackasses. I have read the whole discussion, and the only racists, noobs, starclocks, trainrides, psychopaths, hackers and fat potatoes pesent here are you two (and your mothers, if you have mothers.) To Tiffany, keep on looking out for the little guy, and pray for these immature, violent idiots. It's because of people like them that the world is as jacked up as it is now!

jan Luq' pIqarD said at September 3, 2005 11:14 AM:

i dare say rage against ignorance is ignorance in itself u no nothing of the current situation and why o why dear rage against ignorance did u bring our mothers into this debacle well in that case if u want to speak of mothers in that tone JO' MAMMA SO FAT WHEN U GO TO A RESTARAUNT U SEE MAXIMUM CAPACITY 300 OR JO'MAMMA!

jan Luq' pIqarD said at September 3, 2005 11:25 AM:

do you know the saying 2's a company 3's a crowd but JO' MAMMA CHINA

Evolved Monkey Lovin' Goofball said at September 9, 2005 9:16 PM:

Truth one:
Your religion is not "intergalactic". (no matter what they've told you)

Truth two:
Our species has not yet left this planet. (no matter what they've told you)

Truth three:
When they speak, they lie, and therefore are lying as they speak.
(no matter how much they say they don't lie)

Truth four:
If god made man, the universe, and all the planets... It should be a piece of cake to print up some paper money. Yet they always ask for it "in his name" when you go to church.
So who really needs it? (yes I know I did NOT use a capital "G" in god!)

Truth four:
If god was real, wouldn't he have chosen a side by now?

Truth five:
"just becasue", is NOT a good reason to believe in an invisible unproven force.

Truth six:
just because someone wrote it don't mean it's true....

more to come..........

Good Person said at September 11, 2005 7:53 PM:

Monkeys suck.

Monkey goofball said at September 28, 2005 5:28 PM:

good person, you are a monkey.
never forget that.

Good Person said at October 5, 2005 7:47 PM:

Your name has monkey in it... you goofball.

monkey goofball said at October 6, 2005 6:08 PM:

yes, but you are still a monkey. live long and prosper, you good monkey person you...

watchme said at October 6, 2005 6:10 PM:

Hey! Pipe down before I fling monkey poop on you all!

Perkins said at October 22, 2005 1:03 AM:

If you are a Starwars fan, you dress up as a jedi and walk around with your toy lightsaber. And everybody thinks you look like an idiot and laughs at you.

If you are a StarTrek fan, you dress up as a Klingon and walk around with your *real* batleth. And everybody thinks you look like an idiot...

But nobody laughs.

Startrek is popular because it puts the cultural dilemmas we face into a neutral atmosphere where we can examine them semi-objectively.

Klingons are popular with a lot of people because they appeal to the warrior spirit that is under most people's veneer of civilization.

The Klingon language is popular because it's cool sounding (none of those wimpy soft sounds like Esperanto. It's Harsh and gutteral like a combination of Gaelic and German.) and is relatively easy to learn. Plus, if you learn it, a lot of the constructs in English that you use all the time without thinking about it start to make a lot more sense.

And just so you all know. Most trekkies aren't like the crazy ones you see at the conventions. In fact, most trekkies make fun of them...

JimmyP said at November 2, 2005 9:16 AM:

all Star Trek fans:Tich tor ang tesmur

JimmyP said at November 2, 2005 9:26 AM:

By the way, that, for those people who are too ignorant to actually watch anything but mindless killing and horror films, that means "Live long and prosper" and the aforementioned people can just get a life (not the trekkies)

JimmyP said at November 2, 2005 9:31 AM:

By the way, I think Good Person and jan Luq' pIqarD should get off this forum if they dont like Star Trek

kirkstone said at November 19, 2005 1:28 PM:

Y'know, I think The fact that bill shatner trying to sell his kidney stone says alot. I mean really, klingon?, kidney stones? How about "not real". I mean not even a language!
There's no such place as klingonland. So there should be no respect of any kind given to a non existent culture.. again NON EXISTENT! It's not even real! Why bother? It's like dungeons and dragons land. NOT REAL! Same thing, it's the exact same thing. Some people really need to get a life. I'm not knocking using your imagination, but I do wish it wouldn't consume someone's life to the point of becoming non functional. And when you use a non existent language, you've become "non functional" in society. That's pretty much the bottom line. "must speak english to communicate with life". GEEEeeez!

JimmyP said at November 29, 2005 2:04 PM:

Kirkstone If You don't like the fact that some people take klingon a little seriously just think, people have taken time to make up the language, we could be laughing at the football players the same way you laugh at klingon speakers.

Damn Dude! said at December 2, 2005 9:33 AM:

I gotta say that never have I ever seen so many extremes on one subject line! I am laughing my ass off just reading them.
To the Trekkies, "more power to you!"
To the SW fans, "Star Wars rocks!"
To the PC, "Sucks to be you!"
To the not-so-PC, "Party on dudes!"
To the rest of us reading all of the threads thus far, "It made me laugh so hard I gotta piss! See ya!"

Me said at December 5, 2005 4:07 PM:

Damnit, stop correcting people's grammar! WTF?!!?! And if you DO correct someone's grammar, you damned well better have NO ERRORS in your correction you cocktards, and don't identify correct things as problems, you elder-berrian monkey!

The Collective said at December 20, 2005 11:19 PM:

Wow! This entire thread has devolved to the point of idiocy. How does an argument which starts out with the first rebuttal including the fallacy of relevance, and the second rebuttal including Ad Hominun, devolve to a group of monkeys threatening to fling fecies? By our count, this thread has been devoid of relevancy to the original topic since the middle of last may. To quote a semi-popular movie, this thread is "Dead; D-E-D, Dead." We do, however, agree with Damn Dude! in his comment regarding the exceptionally humorous nature in many of the above posts. In summation, we offer comments to the following posters:

Admiral Tearstar, USS Penilord: Thank you for bringing up the problem many internet users face on a day to day basis. The flagrant and prolific spelling and grammatical errors contained within almost every above post displease us immensely. If every poster were to proofread their posts before submitting them, we feel that the majority of the problem would be solved. Please, in the future try to take your own advice, perhaps with a grain of salt.

Jeffrey Blackwell: Thank you for your insightful comments. Many of the points you raised were not only valid, but necessary for a logical rebuttal. We wish to add to your discourse that far from being just a cult classic, Star Trek helped human society through a tumultuous time; bridging racial gaps with the first primetime televised interracial kiss.

JimmyP: Very well put.

Randall Parker: Your continual use of Ad Hominum is objectionable, yet you at least tried to remain civil towards Tiffany thruout your litany. Thank you for attempting something resembling a debate.

Tiffany: We admire your sustained strength and civility in the face of extreme adversity. You have the makings of great leader and diplomat within you. Your empathy is apparent in your posts, and comments to that effect were unnecessary. We feel that your uniqueness would add to our own, however we will leave you to your life on earth for the present moment.

Good Person and jan Luq' pIqarD: We feel that the addition of your psyches to our own would be detrimental to our collective intelligence; therefore, you will not become one with us. We leave you to perish in your own time and in your own ignorance.

Evolved Monkey Lovin' Goofball: We are apprehensive when dealing with primates; therefore you will be left to your fecal material for the present time, and we wish you a pleasant lifespan.

In regards to the other posters who either had nothing else of importance to state, or resorted to intentional defamation and slander, we feel that you need to be elevated from your current level of culture and thought. Therefore, you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Good Person said at January 2, 2006 4:39 PM:

Dear dear now racist, Nazi, noob, starclock, trainride, psychopath, hacker, potatoes. You all are horrible at this. I will slice you with my microphone. You cannot rebute this argument. Please bask in my exilencilenctroanialism or prepare to face intensssszeliey nazi grammar fix men. P.S. Owned. P.P.S. If you do reply you are stupid and/or extremely ignorant for I am dog or something along those lines. Dogma? Goatse? Tubgirl.com (it's quite entertaining!) Rock on in "Oh Six!"

scott said at February 21, 2006 10:58 PM:

My search for a website that could lead to me learning Klingon has brought me here. I enjoy Star Trek although I haven't seen it for almost a year, I think, and am not a fanatic or anything. Someone wrote above "Klingons are popular with a lot of people because they appeal to the warrior spirit that is under most people's veneer of civilization." I can relate to that, and the language fascinates me. If any of you can assist me in my endeavor to become fluent in the Klingon language, please email me at either Sbromlie91@hotmail.com, or Scottness03_69@hotmail.com. For those of you that enjoy flinging sharp and not-so-sharp barbs around at anyone with an interest in something you dont understand, please don't email me. I'd rather not hear from someone who can only ineptly criticize. Tiffany, I'd especially like to hear from you. Or if you prefer, you can just post here, as I will be looking in somewhat frequently. Thank you all.

Quatloo said at March 5, 2006 1:01 AM:

Stuff the Klingon translators... I'm looking for a TXT to English Translator. Seems anyone with a cellphone is either too lazy or too fucking stupid to speak English these days. I can't understand a damned word they're sending to my mobile phone! If you want to do something wonderful for humanity, band together and force the phone companies to increase the amount of allowable text to be sent so these bloody morons don't have to make up abbreviated words.

Jeitsu said at February 13, 2007 7:50 PM:

It just occurred to me that the generally pathetically low quality of the posts herein doesn't have to mean that Americans are really stupid and getting stupider, but perhaps it could mean that since I noticed this I'm just a little bit cleverer than average. It just sort of puts a much-needed positive spin on it all, so to speak.

It's a bit like a battle of wits 'twixt two unarmed persons, from time to time, sad to say...

PS: I am somewhat interested in studying and maybe learning Klingon for various reasons. For one, it was actually invented by a linguist who apparently deliberately put some linguistic typological twists into it, kind of as a joke, almost.

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